Note
by Lelila Solo
Summary: Leia gets a note when someone doesn't come back from a mission.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey Princess,_

_I guess if you're reading this, Luke got back to the base. I'm sorry I couldn't be there with him, I'm sure it was a happy celebration because we won. I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you. I can't tell you how sorry I am. At least you won't have to deal with Captain Solo anymore. The arrogant, selfish, or annoying anymore, one less heartache right? Did I cover all of the things you think about me? Since, yeah, I guess I can say this now without feeling you're wrath…_

_You're so sexy when you're angry, which around me you usually are. And you're so beautiful 'round the clock. I could drown in those things you call eyes. Can't tell you how many times I wanted to scoop you up and whisk you away. Wanted to kiss you, wanted to hold you, wanted you to be mine. Guess that dream is over now. You'll have to move on._

_You'll have to ask Luke the details. The kid has got a major crush on you, you should know. Of course, who couldn't. You're an angel Leia, try as hard as you want to be a devil, but you'll always be my angel. I wouldn't gone through the Nine Corellian Hells for you. Why do you think I stayed, and got killed? Not for the Rebellion, not for the money, for you, sweetheart._

_I love you, Leia, whether that means anything or not._

_I love you._

_I'll hear every cry, see and feel every tear. I'll always be there if Luke's mumbo jumbo is correct._

_I love you._

_Bye, Leia._

_0500_


	2. Chapter 2

The front of the ceremony hall became a sudden flurry of activity when Leia Organa fell to the ground. The piece of flimsi she had been holding fluttered to the floor beside her. Luke picked it up and folded it, away from leering eyes. He knelt beside her and pulled her into his hug. The surrounding military officers stood their distance, giving her space. Abruptly she stood, running from the room and the thousands of pairs of eyes that were on her. Luke stared after her as she slowly vanished into the dim hallway. When he was sure she'd gotten far enough away, he went after her. She couldn't handle another loss, not the loss of his life. She would pile that on top of the list of the other deaths she blamed on herself. She would blame it on herself, she made him stay, or so she thought. She sent him on that mission. Luke knew he had to get through to her. Before it was too late. The story behind that letter was too important, she needed to know. Han had written that letter long before they had arrived at the drop off zone, long before he had disappeared. And he had told Luke to give that note to Leia if he didn't return.

"Leia! Wait! It's just me!" he called after her, catching sight of her white gown. He heard her footsteps slow and stop as she waited for him to catch up. She fell into his open and offered arms. "We don't know that he's dead."

"How? Han would've come back," she whispered, barely speaking his name.

"He may have been captured, or delayed. We just had to pull out at a set time, we couldn't wait any longer. I wanted to, Leia, I really did. Most of us wanted to wait for him. But they would've spotted us. We had to leave," he explained.

"Then how did he get this to you?" she asked, pulling the folded flimsi out of his hand. "If you weren't right there with him?"

""He wrote that letter before we reached the drop off zone. He told me to give it to you if he didn't come back home. Home, Leia, here is his home. If he didn't make it back, he wanted you to know," he told her.

"Know what? Did you read it?" Leia snapped softly.

"Everyone knew Leia, everyone but you."

Her tears came back and she tore away, running out into the jungles of Yavin IV.

As she ran the branches tore at her dress and skin, trickles of blood staining the white gown red and matting it to her body. Twigs and vegetation clung to her hair as it was falling out of it's braids. She threw herself down against the rock that she'd cried on so many times before, when he'd been there to comfort her and wipe away her tears. "I love you, Han," she cried softly, "I love you."


	3. Chapter 3

Dark spots were created as her tears hit the brown rock's smooth surface. Then the rain started. It was drizzling, creating a shimmering mist around her. She thought she heard someone call her name. Slowly she picked her head up and looked around. No one was there. She heard the whisper again. She sat up and turned. He was there!

Standing against a tree, was Han Solo. She lifted herself off of the rock and stared. His image slowly faded into the rain. "No Han! Don't go. I need you," she whispered after him.

"Listen to the rain," the whisper came again. "It has a story to tell."

She looked around wildly, no one was there. Then she closed her eyes and listened.

_Slow down and listen_

_You precious little child_

_We have a story to tell_

_Each drop its own line_

_Remember when you were broken_

_Scared and all alone_

_Who was there to comfort you?_

_Whom you made your home_

_Slow down enough to see_

_The treasure's life can bring_

_You don't know what you have_

_Before it's stripped away_

_Love was all around you_

_Only you could not see_

_Love was all around you_

_It was stripped away_

_And turned your world upside down_

That night, she woke to the thunder and sat in her bed, listening to the rain again. Did she know he loved her then, did she know she loved him then? No, she hadn't. She took him for granted; she took his staying for granted. They were in the middle of a war; she didn't have time for love, not then, not now. But now she realized that she needed him. The rain's story was right; she didn't know what she had had right in front of her. She needed him, she loved him. He could not be gone. How could he?

The wind blew cold through the cracks in the wood. The Alliance had not been able to afford much in the way of shelter this time around. Not without him running supply runs for them. They needed him, she needed him. But it had been a year since he had disappeared on the battle front. She pulled the animal skin blanket tighter around her, wishing for warmth. The Alliance was running out; running out of supplies, running out of money, running out of men. Running out of time. They couldn't survive long.

It was raining again. She heard the thunder rolling in the not so far off distance. The door flew open as the lightening lit up the sky. He was silhouetted against the trees surrounding the cabins. When the fear leaked away from her face, he took a step closer. The lightening cracked again and she could see his features. Her breath caught in her throat. _Han_.

He sat on the edge of her bad as she watched him. He bent over and pulled off his boots. He unbuckled his low slung holster and his belt, laying them gingerly on the ground. He pulled his jacket off and laid on his side beside her.

"So, did you get my note?"

* * *

A/N: I came up with another chapter, so there will be one, unless everyone wants me to leave the end here.


	4. Chapter 4

He found them a new base. He had secured them a sponsor, for at least a little while. The rebels were woken with the arrival of new clothes one day. The entire force was re-outfitted. The moral of the crews had been on the rise ever since he had been back. But he still would not speak of where he had been, or what had happened to him during those months in which they had heard nothing from him. When they had thought he was dead.

The base he had found them was in the middle of everything, but far enough out of the way that they would have a chance to get their feet under them before moving out again. No one in Imperial Intelligence would ever think to look for them here. Selonia's smallest moon was the ideal location for the Rebellion. Space movement and surface movement was kept to a minimum so they wouldn't draw in even the little attention that would pass them by. Control, Intelligence, and all of the other head organizations caught up on paperwork and the planning of the new base. Luke had taken a group to scout Tatooine for any place that remotely fit their ideals for an out of the way station. An abandoned Hutt fortress was exactly what they were looking for. It was the perfect place for the Alliance to plan their next moves. It seemed like they were always on the move, always on the run.

* * *

It rained here, on Selonia's moon. Leia was certain she would miss it's soothing presence. The rain was coming down and Leia was listening to the new story it had to tell when he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "Hey."

"Hey," she whispered. She wished he would just hold her and be quiet so she could listen. She loved these times. But the silence didn't last.

"I thought you were going to try and get some sleep," he said.

"I couldn't. I don't know why I can't sleep these days. Maybe I'm just anxious about being out here, it's too close to the Core for my comfort. And the Navy is getting antsy about the situation too. We can't stay here much longer, but I'm not looking forward to Tatooine either," she said quietly.

"Umm," he growled deep in his throat, "so what have you been doing?"

" Listening to the rain. I'll miss it. I'll miss it a lot. I love the rain, it's so soothing, so peaceful. It's the only peace I have, aside from the sleep I seldom get anymore."

* * *

She had fifteen minutes to decide how to tell him. She had fifteen minutes to decide how to tell him that her life, his life, their lives were to be changed forever and that they wouldn't be remaining the way they were for very long. She had fifteen minutes to resolve the issue of how to not cry when she told him. She had fifteen minutes to face up to the fact that everything was no longer alright. She had fifteen minutes to come up with a way to show her happiness and sadness in the matter. She had fifteen minutes.

_I should've known something was wrong. I should've known so long ago. I can't believe I didn't realize it before. I can't believe it has gone so long unnoticed._

Ten minutes until he would be here. Ten minutes until their lives would change forever. Ten minutes until she would have to collapse into him in order to remain upright and not crumple into a pitiful pile on the floor. Ten minutes to will the tears away.

_How could I have not known? How? How? How?_

Five minutes, gods the time was going by fast. He would be there in five minutes.

_What am I going to tell him? I can't just blurt it out. What am I going to do? I'll just calm down first, it isn't as bad as I am making it out to be. Maybe it'll go away._

But she was becoming more and more aware of it and when he knocked on the door, she could not hide anymore. He saw the look of trepidation engraved on her features. His immediately took on concern. "Leia, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong exactly, Han," her eyes began to fill with the tears she had willed away. Apparently emotions were stronger than will.

"Then what is going on?" he asked.

"Han, I, the med center, you, Luke, the Rebellion, Reeikan, Dodonna, Mothma, me," she stopped and focused her thoughts as he enveloped her in his arms.

"Shhh, just tell me."

She couldn't bring herself to look at him. She closed her eyes and breathed one word.

_Pregnant_.

* * *

A/N: I know, that was a cheesy chapter, I wasn't planning on writing it, the next and last one will hopefully be better. 


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey Princess,_

_We went under comm silence awhile ago, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner. I know you must be worried to death. I'm lucky I could even get this out when we had to ship command some reports. Something's up out here, we don't know what yet, but something is definitely wrong. Hopefully they hadn't spotted us before we got the cloakers up. They being Imps or what ever is out there, but most likely Imps. We even had to take the Rogues into the bays indefinitely, and an unoccupied Rogue Squadron is causing all kinds of terrible and ridiculous havoc._

_It's like hell around here sweetheart, especially without you here. I still look at that holo I got of you before I left. I look at it every day when I get up and every night if and when I finally hit the sack. I still wake up on a constant basis, looking for your warmth. Just remember that I'm out here for you, and those two little ones in you stomach. Uh, that sounded odd. I wish I could be there, be there for you. But I'm out here for you, so I guess that'll have to do. Maybe I'll make the galaxy a safer place to raise those little kids we're going to have running around soon. And for the innocents, I've seen too many innocent lives lost because there wasn't a competent military officer._

_You're so beautiful Leia, I love you with all my soul._

_Promise me you're eating, and not working yourself to death. I'm fine, don't stress over me, just stay healthy and take care of those little ones._

_If I don't make it back, just know that I love you._

_And when I do get back, I have a surprise for you._

_

* * *

_

She absentmindedly rubbed her growing stomach, feeling for a kick from one of the two little lives inside of her.

_Han's right, that does sound odd._

She was halfway through her second trimester, and she was feeling the effects. She was either exhausted or starving and more often than not both.

Jaina and Jacen, the thought slipped through her mind, _the perfect names_. They just fit, somehow she knew they would fit her children. And hopefully they would never have to go through what she had endured during her lifetime.

* * *

Han wandered through the Rebel frigate, completely lost. They had changed bases three times since he had left, and now they were on the ships, looking for another one. Hopefully they wouldn't be on the run for long. They had intercepted the plans for the second Death Star and learned that both Darth Vader and the Emperor would be aboard to oversee it's final stages. They just had to get to Endor before it was moved.

He ran into Luke first.

"Have you seen Leia? I know you've only been here as long as I have, but…" he asked.

"No Han, I'm just as lost as you are, this new ship is too big for it's own good."

Han sighed after Luke walked off. The techs in the docking bay had told him fiftieth level, three hatches down, and two left turns would take him to command quarters. Right now he was in the middle of a hallway full of storage rooms. _Where in the nine Corellian hells could she be?_

Reluctantly he took out his comm link and called command. There, one of the officers gave him turn by turn directions to Leia's room, ten levels up and one slidewalk ride to the other end of the ship.

He smoothed over his hair, then took a deep breath, which did nothing to calm his nerves. He was going to be meeting his kids for the first time. He had no clue how to be a father, because he had never had one. As he reached up to knock, the door slid open and there stood Leia.

"Han!" she jumped into his arms. "Oh thank goddess you're here. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, sweetheart," he sighed into her hair, pulling her tighter against him.

"Do you want to meet them?" she almost whispered. Maybe he wasn't ready for the little bundles of joy and frustration the twins were.

"You bet," he said, his nerves totally shot. But when he saw the two angelic faces his nervousness melted away. "They're beautiful."

She picked up the little boy and laid him in Han's arms, "This is Jacen." Then she picked up the little girl and held her next to Han," And this is Jaina."

"Jacen and Jaina. Perfect," he smiled, causing another smile to grace Leia's lips. "They are perfect, just like you sweetheart."

* * *

Ah, sorry I haven't updated in so long...I completely forgot about this story  
Lelila 


	6. Chapter 6

It was a note carved into a metal sheet.

It wasn't even that.

It was a scratch on a splinter from a metal sheet.

It was everything.

I love you sweetheart.

That's all it said.

They found it clutched tightly in his palm, crusted blood around the edges. Rather, she found it. She pried it from his hand.

She got the call that his squad was going in, and told him that she'd be right behind him. She had been right behind him. She had been five minutes too late, but she had been right behind him. The building was in flames, and the signs of a thermal detonator were evident. The ceiling had collapsed on him, part of it had.

She had found him. She had collapsed by his side amidst the flames that shot to the sky around her. She had found the note. She had found the scratch on the splinter of metal clutched tightly in his palm, crusted blood around the edges. She had found it.

It was everything.

* * *

That's all, so sorry it took so long. 


End file.
